Join the discussion – Question 5

There is a point towards the end of the film where Zoe (Lily James) begins to settle for “good enough” in her dating life rather than continue to put herself out there to find the “real thing.” Would you have handled this in the same way as Zoe or behaved differently? Why? 

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  1. Maureen Avatar
    Maureen

    Once, in a relationship in my early adulthood, I was compelled to settle and consider marriage. I don’t like the word settle because he was wonderful. I felt that I would be a tremendous disappointment to his family and I vividly remember the crushing weight of that making me run from that relationship, the knowledge that they wanted someone else. Shortly after, I fell in love with and married someone else, was married for a long time, though that union ended divorce. The children from my marriage , now grown are to me cosmic reason for all of that to transpire. I am not sure I’ll ever truly understand romantic love. I’m also not sure how much chemistry is confused for love, but it is literally a force of nature and all that that implies. I also know that there’s a great many hurdles for ALL those planets to align and endure. Perhaps its rarity and elusive quality is what makes it so magical an aspiration and why we are so swept away by it in all its art forms. Even love’s greatest cynics are entranced by books, plays and movies about it.

  2. Liliya Avatar
    Liliya

    I think at some point after everything that Zoe went through and been through, she had to accept that the dating world these days was very difficult and men can be harsh and not very genuine. I think that I would definitely have handled this the same way. One thing I have learned from this film is that sometimes if you want to open up to love or the thought of dating these days you have to stop being so closed off and learn to be more open to love and express yourself and tell the other person how you feel about them or you will miss your opportunity. I feel like I could have definitely see the spark between Kaze and Zoe. I feel like I could definitely relate to Zoe when her mom said that she was closed off and always trying. ” saying hes not my type really stood out to me because i feel like i say things like that in my head always, Also settling for good enough i feel like it would be a good idea instead of trying and trying and not succeeding. Zoe was an inspiration and I loved her character and acting so much.

More Book Discussion Questions

What’s Love got to do with it? highlights the positives and some of the downsides of arranged marriage. After watching the film, would you prefer to avoid the rigamarole of dating and jump to an arranged marriage or dive into the dating app scene? Are there any similarities between the two? Think about the scene where Kaz (Sazad Latif) is on a first virtual date with Maymouna (Sajal Ali) and both of their families pop into the screen and start to answer questions for the two. Have you ever been in a similar situation? If not, how would you have handled that scenario? As the film progresses it becomes apparent that regardless of cultural background parents play a major role in their children’s dating life. For instance, Zoe’s (Lily James) mom Cath (Emma Thompson) continued to push James (Oliver Chris) and Zoe together. Discuss the ways culture plays into how parents intervene in their children’s dating life (i.e. arranged marriage vs. pushy parent). Throughout the film Kaz (Sazad Latif), Maymouna (Sajal Ali), and even Zoe (Lily James) hide their true feelings and actions to fall in line with what is expected of them. Do you think it is worth it to follow cultural norms at the expense of your own happiness? Have your own feelings about that changed over the years? The Pakistani culture is highlighted beautifully in this film. Does this spur questions or thoughts within you about your culture or upbringing? What did you like best about the film? Why? What did you like least about the film? Why? If you had a chance to ask a character in this movie a question, what would it be? If you had a chance to ask the screenwriter a question, what would it be?

2 thoughts on “Join the discussion – Question 5

  1. Once, in a relationship in my early adulthood, I was compelled to settle and consider marriage. I don’t like the word settle because he was wonderful. I felt that I would be a tremendous disappointment to his family and I vividly remember the crushing weight of that making me run from that relationship, the knowledge that they wanted someone else. Shortly after, I fell in love with and married someone else, was married for a long time, though that union ended divorce. The children from my marriage , now grown are to me cosmic reason for all of that to transpire. I am not sure I’ll ever truly understand romantic love. I’m also not sure how much chemistry is confused for love, but it is literally a force of nature and all that that implies. I also know that there’s a great many hurdles for ALL those planets to align and endure. Perhaps its rarity and elusive quality is what makes it so magical an aspiration and why we are so swept away by it in all its art forms. Even love’s greatest cynics are entranced by books, plays and movies about it.

  2. I think at some point after everything that Zoe went through and been through, she had to accept that the dating world these days was very difficult and men can be harsh and not very genuine. I think that I would definitely have handled this the same way. One thing I have learned from this film is that sometimes if you want to open up to love or the thought of dating these days you have to stop being so closed off and learn to be more open to love and express yourself and tell the other person how you feel about them or you will miss your opportunity. I feel like I could have definitely see the spark between Kaze and Zoe. I feel like I could definitely relate to Zoe when her mom said that she was closed off and always trying. ” saying hes not my type really stood out to me because i feel like i say things like that in my head always, Also settling for good enough i feel like it would be a good idea instead of trying and trying and not succeeding. Zoe was an inspiration and I loved her character and acting so much.

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